Wife Swap: The Cullen's Edition
by lovelylips21
Summary: What happens when Emmet comes up with at idea to go on Wife Swap? You never know when it comes to Emmett's ideas.
1. Ideas and Applications

Chapter One : Ideas and Applications

EmPOV

I was sitting in the living room. I was beyond bored. Edward was on the piano with Bella sitting next to him. Rose and Alice were reading a magazine. Jacob and Nessie were on the sofa looking bored to death and Jasper was stringing his guitar. when I got an idea. As soon as I was about to say something Alice got a vision.

"Good idea, Em!"

"I don't think that is such a great idea." Edward pointed out. _Come on Edward it is boring around here, why not? _ He just rolled his eyes.

"It would be so wonderful if you guys can inform us people on what the hell you are talking about." My Rose said.

A chorus of "yeah's" came from Bella, Jacob, Jasper, and Nessie.

"Well I have this brilliant idea to go on Wife Swap. All we have to do is fill out an application and send in a video."

BPOV

Is he nuts? There will be a human in the house for two weeks. It isn't like I don't have control but still. How will everyone else take it?

"Please?" Emmett asked.

"I don't see anything going wrong at all." Alice explained excitedly.

"So is that a yes?" Emmett asked jumping up and down like Alice usually do when she can bring me shopping.

Reluctantly everyone replied yeses and sures.

**LATER THAT DAY **

We decided to apply together as a family.

"_**Wife Swap"**_

_**Application **_

_**PLEASE COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION IN DETAIL AND EMAIL IT BACK to **_

Date Submitted:9-28-2010

Family Name: Cullen

His Name & Age: Carlisle Cullen 32

Her Name & Age: Esme Cullen

Maiden Name: Platt

Home Telephone Number: 705-555-5468

Address (inc. City & State): 7898 Oceans Avenue Mt. Washington, New Hampshire

Email: EC_

His Cell:705-235-7778

Her Cell:705-234-7787

His Work: 706-557-8668

Her Work: None

Names and ages of children from this marriage:

Rosalie 18

Emmett 18

Jasper 18

Edward 17

Alice 17

Isabella 17

Jacob 17

Reneesme 16

Do you have stepchildren? Do they live with you? Will they be part of the show? If yes, do you have full physical and legal custody? No

What is Dad's occupation and work schedule?

A doctor at the local hospital as the head surgeon. Works from 6 a.m. – 8 p.m. Monday thru Friday and off on the weekends.

What is Mom's occupation and work schedule?

At home mom. Clean the house and tend to my garden after.

How long have you been together? 19 years

If married, for how long? 16 years

Who wears the pants and why? Carlisle. He is the man of the house.

Do you rent or own your home? Own

Who takes care of the following responsibilities in your family:

Childcare?

Shopping? Alice

Cleaning? Esme

Cooking? Esme

Money? Carlisle

Planning social life?

Kid's homework? The kids

Do you have any Pets? How many? What Type? Do they have free reign of the house?

No pets.

Describe dinnertime in your family. Do you go out? Do you cook? Where do you eat – at the table or in front of the tv? We eat at different time and Esme has learn not to cook because our children never seems to agree.

How would you describe your diet? Do you allow junk food and soda in your home? What restrictions are there, if any? Vegetarian with the acceptation of Reneesme and Jacob

What is your daily routine? Are you a scheduled family? We go with the flow.

How do you spend your evenings? Weekends? Family time for the most part.

How do you discipline your children? Please give specific details and why this is important to you as a parent? We let them make their own mistake whereas the mess up they learn from it.

What rules must your children follow? Are you strict parents? Do your children have strict bedtimes, curfews, censors on TV/music etc.? Not strict at all. Free to go as they please as long as they are in the house every night for 2 a.m.

Has **EVERYONE** in the family seen a full episode of the show?

How many episodes of _Wife Swap _have you seen together as a family?

None _

A few episodes here and there _

A full season _

I've never missed an episode. _

Other – please explain. _

If you've seen the show, please tell us about episodes that stood out to you or impacted your decision to apply.

Why would you and your family like to participate on Wife Swap?

We are a very unique family and would be very interested in trying something new.

What pushes your buttons? (Both in your family and in general)?

Don't break my furniture with rough playing.

Have you ever or are you currently serving in the Military or National Guard? If so, what branch? What year did you finish your service? No

Do you or any members of your family have a physical or mental disability? If yes, please explain: no

Have you or any family member been treated for alcohol or drug abuse? If yes, please explain? For how long? When did it end? No

Are you or any family member currently or ever been in therapy? If yes, please explain? For how long? When did it end? No

Are you or any family members currently taking any medication, prescription or otherwise? If yes, please explain for what and how often: No

Have you or any member of your family ever been accused or convicted of a felony? If yes, please give detailed explanation: No

Have you or any member of your family ever been contacted by Child Protective Services or Family Services? If yes, please give a detailed explanation: No

Have you or any member of your family ever been detained, been arrested or been in jail for any reason? If yes, please give detailed explain: No


	2. Finding Out and the Tape

Chapter 2: Finding out and the Tape

**2 weeks later**

**EsPOV**

I went to check the mail and came back in the house. I was going through the mail. Fashion magazine-Alice's, Car magazine-Rose's, Book magazine – Bella's and then there was a big white envelope – this isn't usual. I look at the address from where it came from and walked back in the house. I walk in to the kitchen where my husband was.

"Carlisle, Do u know where this address is from?" I asked my husband

"No hunny, but I bet the kids probably know."

"Kids, Can you come in here for a minute?"

Alice, Jasper, and Emmett walled in first, followed by Edward, Jacob, Bella, and Nessie. Alice, being the hyper person she is, started jumping up and down and saying "It's here, it's here" over and over. I sent a look to her husband saying you need to calm her down. Then I felt a wave of calm.

"Alice, what is this?"

"We have been accepted to go on wife swap." She replies.

I open it and read it out loud...

_Dear Carlisle Cullen and family,_

_Thank you for applying to be on our show. You're family is quite interesting and thought that it would be a good episode. You will be switching wives with the Taylor's in Astoria, Oregon. After you receive this, you have a week to prepare to go on the show, and for your wife's leaving your family. And as we say here at Wife Swap, "On with the Swap!" Thank you again for coming onto our show._

_Sincerely,_

_The Producers at Wife Swap_

"We have been accepted to go on wife swap." She replies.

"I can see that, Alice. " I tell her.

"Are you NUTS?" Carlisle asks Alice.

"Carlisle, nothing bad is going to happen. I have seen it. Please? Please? Pleeeaaaaassssee Daddy? Giving me a puppy dog look knowing I would give in to.

"Fine but we have to get our story straight and watch the tape I supposedly sent in." He said.

We sat down as a family to get our story straight. We came up with Edward Masen would be and first came to our family. Second to come to the family is Rose and Jasper Hale with them being twins and my niece and nephew. Next to come to the family are Emmett, Bella, and Alice Swan. Nessie Masen came to our family after as Edward's niece. Jacob would come to our family last.

**CPOV**

After we got our stories straight I told Emmett to put in the DVD. We went set in the living room to watch.

"Hi, I'm Carlisle Cullen." A voice from behind the camera said. It was a rather good imitation but it was still obvious that it was Jasper.

"I am thirty-two years old and married to my wonderful wife Esme for the past nineteen years. My wife found out at a young age that she would be unable to have children so we decided to adopt. As much as we love children we decided that there were many older children in need of homes."

The camera rotated around to show the living room and entrance to the kitchen. We were given a tour of the downstairs of the house as he continued to talk.

"Most of our children were deemed by others as difficult or troubled.""I'll introduce you first to one of the newer members of our family; as well as my first son. Edward was the first to join the family after his parents was in a car accident and passed away. At the time he also was very sick as a doctor I took him in and helped him with the healing process. At first he was very moody and tended to stick to himself. Bella was the second to last to join the family a few years ago along with her brother, Emmett and her sister, Alice; she came to us when she with suicidal issues. The two of them seemed to bond instantly and are now inseparable."

The camera ascended up the stairs as it entered Edward and Bella's room. Music poured out of the speakers; the scene showed Edward and Bella lying in bed, Bella absorbed in a book while Edward's fingers danced with the music across her thigh.

The scene cut to the next room, Rosalie sat in a large chair playing on her laptop, and Emmett sat on the floor his head resting by her knee flipping through a magazine.

"This is Emmett and Rosalie." Jasper said in Carlisle's voice maintaining character.

"Hi" Emmett grinned at the camera waving his hand back and forth at inhuman speed. "Rose, aren't you going to say hi?" Emmett asked her trying not to laugh.

"Whatever" was her only reply as she went back to her laptop.

The camera went back out into the hallway.

"Emmett is well, special. It may not be the politically correct term but I don't think there is a term to describe him. Rose was the second we adopted into our family, since she came to us she has been at times bitter and vain, but deep down she has a soft spot…I think." Jasper chuckled.

"I heard that." Rose snarled from the bedroom.

"Did I mention she has a slight attitude problem also?" Jasper said quietly.

The picture fades and we are back in the kitchen. Alice is on camera while she chops up some vegetables.

"This is my wonderful daughter Alice she is Emmett's and Bella's biological sister. She had a hard life before coming to us after being placed in a mental institution; however with the death of her parents I took her and her brother and sister in. It was quickly obvious that she did not need to be institutionalized she just needed someone to love and nurture her. Alice is very gifted."

The camera zoomed into Alice smiling at the camera as she chopped up some vegetables.

"Did I mention we are all vegetarians." Jasper said as Alice giggled at the inside joke. "Well all of us except Jacob and Nessie. We adopted Jake last and before him Nessie. Speaking of those two what are they up to?"

"They're outside in the garden with Esme." Alice motioned out the kitchen window.

"Well then, I guess I will take you on a tour of the yard." Jasper said as the camera headed out the door winding its way around the path to the garden in the back yard.

"Renesmee is the newest and youngest addition to the family. Her mother died during child birth and her father was too upset to care for her at the time, she bounced around between foster homes for 2 years until the adoption agency realized she had an uncle; she joined the family 14 years ago."

The camera showed Jake and Nessie sitting on a swing in the center of the garden, Esme on her knees pulling weeds.

"Hi guys" Jasper said as they both looked up to the camera and waved.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Esme asked walking towards him.

The camera cut off.

When the screen came back on it was in Carlisle's study. Again we heard Jasper "We'll that's the Cullen's; most of us anyway. I have another son Jasper who is out camping this weekend. He tends to get overwhelmed by some of the drama in the house and escapes for a few days. I am sure you will get to meet him if we are chosen. I hope you are interested in our family. We are and hoping for a thrilling new journey."

"Okay. Since it seems like we don't have a choice in the matter, we will do this but there are some rules that need to be placed while "the new mom" is here." I finally said.

"Rule 1: No Sex"

"Aww man, come on Carlisle. Why not?" Emmett of course.

"I think if it this way. Since I can't have sex with my wife for 2 weeks, you all can hold out too."

"Fine" he sighed.


	3. The Gilmore's

Chapter 3: The Gilmore's

Rachel's POV

I have always known my life was perfect. I had five wonderful children. My oldest, Marie her twin brother Joseph are seniors in high school. Then there is Elaina and her twin sister Eva who are in the tenth grade. My youngest is Trey who is 13 and in the seventh grade. My husband of 28 years, Kyle, works as a Lawyer and makes a good bit money. So when I was watching wife swap last week and frowning at all the mistakes the needy family had made from the very beginning. I couldn't help but feel that my perfect and wonderful children and husband could benefit the community far more if we went on this T.V show and proved to all of America just how wonderful our lives are and we could convert this new Family to the way of our lord, and so I picked up the phone and dialed Kyle's work number, he agreed with me we sent off the paper work and here we are now. It is the morning of the swap I am excited and worried at the same time, Kyle steps forward and gives me a hug and kiss we were never ones for PDA. I stepped away from him and addressed our children.

"Now children I want you all on your best behavior remember that you are representing the Gilmore's family and we are always the best. We need to show this new mom this and make sure that you pass on the word of the Lord."

They all mumbled a "Yes Mom" and I smiled and hopped into the limo that was waiting to take me away to my new home for the next two weeks.

I found out where I was going when we arrived at the air port my limo driver told me I was going to Mt. Washington, New Hampshire, I shivered at the thought of my new home. I reminded myself that it was going to be low rent, the children would be un-educated and spoiled, the father would be an unemployed drunk and the mother most likely a stripper. I was very afraid of what I would come home to but I was determined to fix this family.

We had been driving for what felt like hours, we had already passed through forks and were now just driving into unending forest I was about to ask the driver where we were going when the trees thinned and we were in front of the most beautiful house I had ever seen. It was four stories tall and one wall made entirely made of glass I mentally gasped. I climbed out of the car dragging my luggage with me and made my way up to the front door taking a deep breath I unlocked it and stepped into the unknown.


	4. Esme's Goodbye

Chapter 4: Esme's Goodbye

EsPOV

I have to leave in an hour. I really don't want to leave. I haven't been away from my family more than 2 days and now I am going away for 2 weeks. The camera crew just arrived to get a tape of me saying bye to my family. The limo showed up about 20 minutes after.

"Remember your manners children. No jokes or pranks." I told my children. Mainly looking at Emmett and Jasper.

"Okay Es… Mom. We will be good." Emmett replied.

"Okay... I love you!" I gave Carlisle a goodbye kiss and hugged my children again.

I finally arrived at a house looked normal enough from the outside, two story typical middle class. I opened the front door as the camera followed me in the house.

The first thing that caught my attention was the large cross hanging in the entrance way. Under it was written "We will serve the Lord". I had a feeling that my family was going to go through hell at home.

I walked in the house and it was decorated with brown and red everywhere. On the wall was a bear head above the fire place.

"I guess they like hunting." I said to the cameras I walk in the kitchen.

"Lots of meat in the fridge, too." I said realizing that she would have to maintain a vegetarian diet in my family.

"Let's see where the kid's stay." I said making my way up the stairs. Upstairs I found five bedrooms. The first room I entered was covered in the local high school football team, a letter jacket hung from the chair. On the other side of the room above the second bed a plaque hung on the wall commemorating Karate accomplishments.

The next room I enter was covered in red and brown, I noticed this girl was very active in activities. Her ballet shoes were hanging by her window as well as her pom-pom's and her leotard was laying on her chair under her desk. Along the dresser I notice all the awards for gymnastics, cheerleading, ballet and karate.

The next room I entered was adorned in pink and purple, I noticed the ballet slippers hanging over both of the beds in the room to the other side were a set of pom-pom's and photos of girls of about sixteen or seventeen in a cheerleading uniform. On top of both desks they had ballet, cheerleading and karate awards and accomplishments.

I went to the next bedroom and from what I tell it belong to a thirteen or fourteen year old boy. I notice that the room was painted blue. He had awards from playing baseball and doing swimming as well as student council.

"A very high achieving family." I said as I made my way through the rest of the house. I entered the master bedroom the bedding was lined with embroidered crosses. Above the bed was another wall vinyl with writing. And the greatest of these is love.

"I would think that would put a damper on the sex life." I said embraced once I realized what I had just said would be on TV.

I made my way out of the bedroom and headed back to the kitchen to read the guide to running this family.

_Dear New Mom, _

_We believe in raising our children with high moral standards. We believe in not only bringing them up to be children of God but also upstanding members of society. I have five kids. Marie and Joesph are our oldest, they are seventeen. Marie is active in cheerleading, gymnastics, ballet, and student council. Joseph is active in football, track, the debate team, and student council. Elaina and Eva are In cheerleading, ballet, karate, and student council. Trey is 13 and he is involve in baseball with practice 3 times a week as well as him being in student council. All of the children do volunteer work at a local nursing home every other Saturday. With our schedule we are constantly on the move. _

_My day is spent cleaning along with bible study Tuesdays and Thursdays. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I volunteer at a local homeless shelter before picking the kids up from school._

_Kyle works as a lawyer. Being high up has its benefits, we don't think about monetary benefits though. We don't lavish the children with materialistic objects. No matter how busy we are we make sure to have a family dinner every evening. To save money and teach the children values the boys do a lot of hunting for the major source of our meat. Dinner is followed every night by devotions._

_We believe if children are not kept active they will get into trouble, drugs, gangs, sex, our children are not allowed to date and as you may have noticed there is no TV in the house. We do have a computer but it is kept in a locked room upstairs. They may use it for homework with my direct supervision. The dress code is attached as well._

_We have a dress code in our house that must be obeyed at all times._

_- Shirts must be buttoned up to the neck and the sleeves cannot be shorter than the shoulder and the shirts must not be tight fitting or revealing._

_- Boys must wear long pants and girls must wear a dress or skirt that cannot be higher than the knee._

_- Boys should have neatly combed hair and the girls must wear their hair up in a ponytail or a bun at all times._

_The children have various jobs around the house that must be completed each morning before school._

_There are schedules on the pantry for further instructions,_

_In faith_

_Rachel Gilmore_

"I won't deny children need boundaries but this is CRAZY. If you raise your children right you shouldn't have to be this strict, they need to make their own decisions as well as their own mistakes." I said feeling bad for my family; wondering what "my kids" got us into.

I heard a car pull up to the driveway I walked to the front door nervous about meeting the new family. Here goes.


	5. Sorry!

Sorry for the delay but I don't think I will continue this story unless I get anymore ideals. I will most likely be starting a completely different story. I know I hate when I get in to a story and then it gets canceled but I am out of ideas. If you want me to continue, you are more than welcome to pm me and give me a couple of ideas. Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites!


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